Keats

When I have fears that I may cease to be

Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain

Before high-pile’d books, in charact’ry,

Hold like rich garners the full-ripen’d grain;

When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,

Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,

And feed that I may never live to trace

Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;

And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!

That I shall never look upon thee more,

Never have relish in the faery power

Of unreflecting love! – then on the shore

Of the wide world I stand alone, and think

Till love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

(that was John Keats, by the way).

Jim was a genius

Jim was a genius. He neither suspected nor wondered upon this fact. In fact no one who knew Jim either suspected or wondered upon this fact other than his mother, who, when Jim was twelve years old signed him up for a Macarthur Fellows Grant. He was awarded $500,000 which was payed to him in monthly installments over the course of five years. Jim’s mother, fully believing that her son would go on to do great things, placed his money into a trust fund which would collect interest until he turned 21 at which time, in her mind, he would recieve the money and accomplish his potential.

Jim did not accomplish his potential. Not in the way that his mother had hoped anyway. Upon turning 21 and recieving such a large amount of money from his mother with a heartfelt letter about following his dreams and changing the world. Jim promptly set to not reading the letter and paying off his student loans, and getting chinese food. After that was done he had to hurry home in time for HOUSE on fox as it now started at 8pm, as opposed to 9. Then he had an extra hour to kill before falling asleep on his futon.

When he woke up the next morning. He cursed as he had slept through his alarm and hurried into the shower to get ready for work. It occured to him while he was washing his hair for the second time (Jim always washed his hair twice, he did not know why he did this, just always had. If he didn’t, the shower felt incomplete and Jim felt “off” for the rest of the day) that without an immediate need for income, he could probably skip his opening shift at best buy, or just quit all together, however, Jim decided, while he was brushing his teeth (only once in the morning), that he would go in anyway. He liked the people there, his boss was just starting not to be a jerk to him, and on the off chance “Call of Duty 5″ came out while he was there, he could use the inside track and the employee discount. So, on with the blue polo that doesn’t fit quite right, although no one but Jim seemed to notice, and away to sort cds and playstation 3 controllers.

When Jim arrived, he set to work immediately on the new shipment of Metalica box-sets (the third different “ultimate platinum release” this year). His boss, Ray, informed him that he was five minutes late. Jim new this, he also knew that he was actually directly on time and that this was only considered late because of a long speech Ray had given the entire stock department about how if they were early they were on time and if they were on time they were actually late. Jim apologized nonetheless to Ray, who immediately told Jim he’d always appreciated his hard work at Best Buy and to keep it up. Jim took this encouragement as a sign that it was indeed a good thing that he had come into work that morning.

He finished his shift, and headed home. stopping only for more chinese food. Called his two closest advisers and told them to meet at his place pronto. He scarfed down his pork lo mein, and immediately began work on a sign to inspire his teammates, one that would drive them to the world changing idea that his mother had hoped for: in painstaking, four-color letters he calligrifized “BRAINTRUST OF JIM’S GENIUS: FOR THE BETTERMENT OF ALL MAN(AND WOMAN)KIND”

(to be continued)

Vincent van Gogh…

is my hero. has been. Though mostly the only research I did was into the latter part of his life. Time in the Asylum and with Gaugin and finally with Gachet (where he attempted suicide, and succeeded two days later). The suicide part was not what made him my hero, but the bits about him painting furiously, with no regard even for personal care, hygiene, sustenance, or otherwise. His passion for as he put it “drawing with color” probably killed him more slowly than the bullet he lodged in his chest; it sustained him until then as well.

What I did not know (until tonight) was that he spent the begining parts of his life working towards, as he put it in this biography, helping people. He fervently studied theology and practiced his religion wiht such zeal that he was actually warned by his superiors during a 6 month trial appointment at in the Borinage, in Belgium for his overzealous devotion to his work. Vincent typically gave away his own cloths, and his bed to others he decided deserved it more. He slept on the floor of a shack.

It was shortly after his contract with the Borinage was not renewed that he “realized that he could not do anyhthing for others anymore” This was due to the fact that he had no job and was living specifically on the money given him by his father and brother (both named Theodorus) It was this realization that led him to begin drawing again (the first time since his first appointment at an uncle’s paint store/art dealer.

It was the redirection of this ferver from philanthropy to art, painting specifically, that has given us arguably the greatest painter that ever lived (i realize the audacity of that statement, point is he’s up there, one can argue influence and themes and accessibility of all of the greats and one could go back and forth never reaching a conclusion. that’s why i said “arguably”. further, what would be the scale by which you judge? nevermind that’s another post, probably months away)

The other very interesting thing about van Gogh is his brother Theo (as he called him in his letters). Theo supported van Gogh throughout most of his life. Finacially as well as giving him a place to stay on more than one occasion. Vincent himself decided to turn himself in to the Asylum, when that time came, but it was Theo who took him in when he left, and Theo also had the connection to Dr. Gachet, who was to help Vincent in his final, trying, though most prolific years.

What I find intriguing about this is that while van Gogh, continued to be kind and caring in his letters to Theo, there was never once a return finacially. Vincent literally had nothing, and worse, tended to spend the money given him on models, rather than food (Theo’s business allowed him to provide Vincent with canvases and colors, so there was no need to purchase those). In spite of Vincent’s general and repeated lack of self control, or even self preservation, Theo loved his brother and cared for him without requiring anything from him.

All this to say, I feel this particular generation of the van Gogh family represent traits that we could all benefit and learn from. Vincent with his uncompromising pursuit of his passions, and Theo with his unwavering support and love for his brother. It has been said, probably on some cheesy highschool wrestling shirt or something of the like, that success is not a destination one ever arrives at, but rather a continuing pursuit of ones goals (maybe not in those words). Theo’s support of van Gogh could have fairly ended several times, however it did not. Neither was it even strained, though it is assumed Vincent’s crises (as they are referred sometimes) were due to his fear that support from his brother would end, it was apparently never in question. They are in fact buried next to each other. I’m not sure the point of all of this other than to say, isn’t that neat?

I think it is. support those you love in their endeavors, and those that are supported be sure to thank and be gracious for the gifts you receive, do not waste such things. all right. that’s enough.

actual first day

well after an eventful weekend of memories, and “i remember the time when”s we had our official first day of “bread loaf theater” today. it was good, I have been astounded at the amount of things that four motivated skilled individuals can accomplish in a work day that includes meetings, long lunches, and croquet. ha. We actually have everything we need to do tomorrow finished today, save for some chair relocation. so that’s just wonderful.

I found over the weekend that Robert Frost is a pretty big figurehead here. he taught here and also lived in a cabin that’s within walking distance to the campus, i’ve visited it. i should probably sit there and write a poem about nature. if i do so i’ll be sure to post it. there are som pictures of him playing softball in one of the magazines. i’m not a big fan of softball but it’s pretty cool that dude played anything in addition to being beautiful poet guy.

there is a robin that lives on the porch of the theatre that we will probably have to relocate (gently) to just out side the porch. there has been extensive research into whether or not its possible to relocate a nest and not disturb the animal. so that’ll probably be the project tomorrow. i’ll post pictures of that as well.

alright a short post but i’m rather tired (i’m told the altitude takes some getting used to, won’t get you sick but you sleep more) anyway, until next time, keep your brushes clean, be nice to drive-thru customers. do your streches and finish your homework. keep your universes separate and remember that even if you’re an ED respect is earned before it is given. night guys

(pre-dated, evening of 6/18)

Well, I have arrived at Breadloaf. It took two full days of driving, made short by the entertaining company of Kim, and also the joys of using an atlas she swears by, and has swron by since she purchased it 11 years ago. So far my impression of the northeast consists of the Western Diner in Guilderland, NY, which I recommend highly and rain. It has rained since Pennsylvania and I’ve been assured that it doesn’t always but I’m not convinced.

It would seem that my role here as a staff member for a summer gradschool program won’t be terribly different from my role as a staff member for a summer camp, save that I will have more free time here and they pay for more. I’ve been told we will work during the day and entertain ourselves at night. Entertainment seems to fall into two categories: drinking and sports. There are three to four weekly engagements that staff members are invited to attend, ranging from hors’ douvres (sp) and wine at the Wednesday faculty staff reception, to the double kegger/bonfire on Saturday. Other than that we will play sports, sports like soccer, bocci ball, and even competitive dam building in the creak for swimming purposes. Stokes has been damming everything he can find in the off-season and hopes to go pro by the fall; that is if his MFA in lighting design doesn’t pan out.

Our first day is tomorrow (6/19) and I’m anxious to begin. I will try to remember that doing what I love among like-minded, kind-hearted people is my job and that I should also have fun. That’s it for tonight. Hopefully the promised internet will be up and running then so that there’s only one post dated entry.

Until tomorrow, good night to those near and far. Keep your chin up, and your head down. Feed your fish and frogs, and don’t fall off the truss. Be nice to your PAs. Tall is one shot, Grande is two, and Venti also two, unless it’s iced. Drive Safely and Set Your Alarm.

wait, i think i see something…

And, for some reason i am unable to see this as i type it which is weird but i’ll continue to type anyway and we’ll see if it posts.
I have been in Columbus GA for the past three days and it has certainly been a restful time for me. Something about the familiarity of this place usually puts me at ease. You may never be able to go home once you lelave but that doesn’t mean you forget the way to coffee.
it’s raining, and i’m drinking “aged earl grey” tea. with milk and sugar. and i’m not sure why they say aged. does anyone know if tea gets better as it ages? maybe the flavors beome more robust and possibly it tastes better to a tea connoseuer, which i am not. anyway it’s good, makes me think of tour, early mornings and what not. Hotels don’t have many things automatically but tea is one of them. and i like it better han coffee in the morning. mostly i hink becasue it seems to be a little easier to drink. that’s enough about tea.

I start graduate school in just a few short months and must say i’m a little worriesd about whether or not i’m going to be anygood at school. I was passable last time. and was a little surprised i was admited in the first place. but i’ll not worry about such things until i get there or at all .
It was a litle disheartening not to go on the road with the good employees of student life INC this year, but things must come to an end, and it was time for a change i guess. Vermont will be lovely i’m sure. and a chance to work on a real play with little pressure will be good to get me back into the swing of deadlines and permanent walls that will be removed in a few weeks. not to mention i’m ready to do something that was written before i was born. new plays are good and daring, or they can be. but soemthing that has been around long enough to be remembered longer than it’s creator is inspiring. i’m working on more creative endeavors as well, two ideas in the works. one that’s been sitting in pieces on paper and in my head for a while and another that’s pretty fresh which is also appreciatable. i’ll probably sthrow some of both of them up[ here in the near future for comments iand snide remarks. hopefully i’ll get both. anyway that’s about it for now. those that read this, probably know my phone number so call me or yell at me or something so i keep my promises. until next time.

twilight the experience

so somehow, im sitting here with the lady, watching twilight. that’s right sports fans, some how mexican movie night turned into shitty movie night, not that i’m complaining, just you know. twilight. sigh…

anyway, i’ve decided to blog about my experiences here as i sit and watch this movie, so it’s just started and she just moved to forks, washington; home of 3140 people.

-we just met the “dude who know the school” character, asian instead of black, but you know a vehicle’s a vehicle. he’s going to show us around and let us meet characters

-who’re they? “oh, the cullens?” ooooo cue the music. must be the vampires, in daylight. more about what i think of that, later, oh man a backwards glance and eye contact. oh man oh man.

-love the use of the snow owl behind edward to make it look like he’s got angel wings.

-so far what i dont understand is how everyone in the highschool is so nice, but this one dude’s an asshole and yet he’s the one she thinks about. …chicks man. would that i could be confident enough as a teenager to shun the friends i have becasue they aren’t good enough.

-he looks like cancer boy… all sick and sad. and he’s wearing more lipstick than her, and more eye shadow. and now she’s giving him the lower lip bite face..

and sexy (amanda’s addition)

- glossy, he’s got glossy lips…

- oh damn, he’s super strong.

-hey that’s that guy, he was the jock a-hole in those other movies, now he’s a doctor with lots of make-up

-how come they aren’t killed by sunlight? and what is he doing in her room? this feels  little, just a little like a soft porn.

- the focus in shot on digital cameras looks different. i like the look of real film more.

- i like the science teacher.and then dude’s wearing a pea-coat.

-and now he’s spiderman too.

-this dialogue is, just, just awful. “what if i’m the, the bad guy?” BLEARGH!! ::cough, cough, spit::

-it’s interesting, because it’s built like a horror movie, but shot like a teeny bopper flick, and meanwhile the main girl says every line so breathless that it sounds like she’s making out with dude.

- oh damn, it’s orlando bloom, keep away legolas!!

- also,vampires in volvos… not cool. i don’t care.

- amanda just brought up the score is terrible. it is terrible. very bad.

- soft porn again.

- he sparkles?? that’s what the sun does to him? it doesn’t kill him? why haven’t the vampires just taken over? like killed everyone? or enslaved humans and kept them like cattle?

-maybe not soft porn, maybe just lifetime movie

- see after a scene like this i would love to be sitting next to the director when he was like “ok good, that one’s a keeper, let’s move on.” and then i would throw up, cough, and spit again. then i would walk away.

-oh shit oh shit, really softporn now, laying in the meadow, guitar and piano, siiiiigh

- i suppose this movie does capture a little bit of a vampire highschool crush. if that’s what it wanted…

-deBUSee? or debYOUsee? hmm

- no i’ve been watching you sleep for the passed couple of months, i’m a stalker.

::BREAK:: Geoffrey is ACTUALLY watching this movie right now.

-baseball, in the thunderstorm, cool

- and now the action sequence begins

-and now they’re at prom. and her cardigan is as bad as the acting. and then iron and wine… ruining acting, and cardigans, and iron and wine forever.

ok so that was the movie, with i suppose my commentary. must say it lived up to the hype of badness. that vampire dude, what’s his name? robert? something? anyway he was good in harry potter, as a teenager,  not so good as a teenage vampire though. well maybe it’s just a bad movie. oh well. two hours spent. there you go.  more later.